I'm Perfectly Fine Without You
I grew up without a father. As far as I was concerned, he did not exist. There were no photographs, no name on the birth certificate, no meaningful objects that could hint what he could be like. My childhood was spent oblivious to the peculiarity of this absence; in my mind, it was entirely normal to be fatherless.

Those surrounding me reinforced this distinctive inclination. Many friends and acquaintances had been gifted with a missing or disinterested dad and were searching for answers and relationships, often resulting in disappointment. I heard varied stories with the same outcome, an indefinite absence and nebulous presence.

This project is a collection of memories shared by people who possess this common trait. The criterion was that their father was missing during childhood, their formative years, with the only exception being death. You the listener are the recipient of their divulgences.

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JM

Why are you trying to pull me away? I'm perfectly fine without you.

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LG

I am not your daughter. You didn't have anything to do with raising me...You didn't try to contact us for 14 years...

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RI

His absence was just as formative as his presence. And it's just...it's so forced.

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DI

The most heart-wrenching thing for me is that it was my father's decision. That my mother said please don't, I will never talk about my feelings again if you just won't leave me.

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SA

I'm not ready to be okay with what happened. I'm not ready to forgive--I'm not ready to...to reward him, you know? Why should I contact you and have this relationship with you when...you didn't?

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AO

I think it remians an unresolved issue and probably always will create some sort of structural weakness in me...

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TA

You know, I don't know if this is going to affect me. But surprisingly it did, you know. It just--it fit everything together that I didn't know it needed to be fitted together. It just answered a lot of questions that I had inside of me.

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BC

We don't really have a great relationship...but I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that, but it's also a little frustrating because we have had a good relationship at one point.

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AH

I rather he die than I say any of the things I thought about him. Because I don't want to--I feel like it's too late for him anyway, you know, like there's no reform. So I might as well let him just, like, die with the thought that perhaps his kids don't hate him.

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ZM

Coming Soon....

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MS

You feel like if you have a biological parent they would want to get to know who their children are? It's so impersonal, like even though the minimal contact that he makes is so impersonal that I wish he didn't make it at all.

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YO

I don't remember having a lot of anger, but I do remember the fights.

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EL

From an early age, I was not able to dream in the same ways or to think about life in such a positive way as many of the kids that were just thinking about cartoons. Like very early on, I realized that my parents were not a source of protection. Very early on, I realized my parents were not perfect.

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WY

But that name is obviously not the same name of the guy that I grew up with.

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HIL

Um, my mom's told me that when I was little I used to ask where he was, and it broke her heart because she didn't want to tell me or she couldn't tell me. There was nothing that would sort of relieve that curiosity in me...

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QG

There should be good memories, but there just aren't any. Guess that's something I'll always have and unfortunately will never be able to get over.

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AR

What is there to say for a guy who's never around, who you've talked to maybe three times, and your only memory is a horrible one from when you were a little kid? There's not much to say.

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RA

Coming Soon...

All Content Copyright 2011 Daisy Patton